Frequently Asked

Q) What is meant by The Lifestyle?

A) The Lifestyle is a term used by people to describe themselves within the swing lifestyle community. The ambiguity of the term can be helpful to protect discretion, and is often preferred over the older term "swinger" that is more commonly used by 'outsiders' in main stream society. 

Q) What does 'Vanilla' mean in the Lifestyle context?

A) A term referencing mainstream societal practices and values that are frequently NOT shared by the Lifestyle Community.  

Q) The Lifestyle community often refer to sexual activities as 'Play'. What is the difference between "Soft Swap" play and "Full Swap" play?

A) 'Full Swap' identifies someone who is open to having intercourse with others. The 'Soft Swap' spectrum can be very diverse or very narrow, but it does Not include intercourse.   

Q) Why do people engage in Lifestyle activities?

A) The motivations and activities of Lifestyle members are diverse. If you analyzed 100 lifestyle couples, you would discover how diverse and unique each couple is. We like to say that each couple is like a snowflake, no 2 are exactly the same. 

Q) Are there unique values or sexual practices in the Lifestyle community that sets it apart from the Mainstream sexual community?

A) There are several, but 2 of the most common are:


  • People in the lifestyle community generally identify themselves as "Sex Positive" and reject traditional values about sex that often produce shame or guilt toward one's own self and sexual behaviors.


  • The other common self-designation is referred to as "Ethical Non-Monogamy." This concept emphasizes the emotional rewards gained by openly and honestly 'sharing affections' with not just your partner, but also with 'multiple' partners. One benefit is that the degree of respect, trust, love, intimacy and commitment you have with your partner, are strengthened even more. This is a considerable contrast to the deception, denial and suffering that can occur with vanilla couples who practice strict monogamy. To be clear, monogamy obviously works for a great number of people. But many others thrive from the open and honest benefits of ethical non-monogamy.